Secret Santa
by KayValo87
Summary: It's that time of year again and Radek has been given Rodney's name. But what does one get for the scientist that is almost impossible to please?


**Merry Christmas Season!**

Here is the second of my holiday one-shots. (Expect a few more in the coming week.) I hope you enjoy it.

This story is dedicated to my wonderful betas, jennytork and San Antonio Rose, for their help in getting this story ready for Christmas.

_DISCLAIMER: If you saw it on tv, it's not mine._

Enjoy ...

* * *

Radek walked to the Gateroom in a daze, the heavy pack on his back barely noticeable after the bombshell he had just been given. The science department's Secret Santa names had been drawn and this was his unlucky year.

This year he had to get a gift for … Rodney McKay.

Now Rodney was not a bad guy, not even the most irritating person to work with - a title reserved for Dr. Kavanagh whenever he was in the city. Even so, he was the hardest person to shop for. Anything he really wanted he simply bought himself. He had low expectations for anyone to come up with a decent gift, which of course made whoever got his name feel compelled to prove him wrong with a good present.

In the history of the science department's Secret Santa exchange, this had yet to happen.

This year would be different. Radek had a plan and this mission provided the perfect opportunity. It was just his luck that Colonel Sheppard had requested a second scientist for this one. It was supposed to be pretty mundane work, but it was his only chance.

"Oh good, he's here," Rodney announced with all the enthusiasm of a sleeping cat. "Can we go now?"

Radek would have liked to have been surprised by his colleague's reaction, but he really wasn't. Rodney wasn't known for sharing and seemed especially territorial of his team - as if anyone would try to replace him. The flagship team for Atlantis often went on dangerous missions and not many on the science team had the nerve to face the unknown. Actually, during their time in Antarctica, Radek would have bet money that Rodney McKay would never join a reconnaissance team. Colonel Sheppard must be a miracle worker.

They stepped through the Gate and began the short hike to their destination, fighting wind the whole way. During their last visit, AR-1 had come across some ruins that might have been an Ancient laboratory. While Rodney had insisted he could handle it himself, a pending storm system had overruled him. Their job today was to document as much of the place as they could to see if they could confirm the purpose of the structure before the coming hurricane washed what was left of the building away.

"All right," Colonel Sheppard stated once they were in the protection of the ruins, "That storm will hit in 12 hours. We have 10 before we head back."

"What?" Rodney protested.

"10 hours," he repeated firmly. "Let's get to work."

While the scientists worked, Colonel Sheppard assigned the rest to sentry positions. One would be posted at the entrance and keep watch for trouble, the other two would each stay with a scientist. Radek was hoping he would be with Teyla, or maybe the Colonel …

"Ronon, go with Zelenka."

Oh … that might work too. The pair headed to their section and Redek started documenting everything he came across. It was twenty minutes later that he decided to start his secondary mission.

"So, Ronon … Christmas will be here soon."

"Yep."

"Have you thought about what you are going to give people?"

"No."

Maybe this wouldn't work as well as he hoped. Not that he was concerned they would get the man the same thing, but maybe if he knew what types of things his friends were getting him, it might give Radek a few ideas of what he would actually like. Unfortunately. Ronon wasn't the most forthcoming when it came to what he was thinking - at least not to anyone outside of his team. Still, he might have some insight that Radek didn't.

"I got Rodney in this year's Secret Santa."

No response.

"Not sure what to get him."

Still no response. Radek glanced over his shoulder just to make sure the Satedan was still there. He was right where he had been, positioned so he could watch the room and the hallway, his hand resting lightly on his blaster. The sight was both unnerving and comforting.

"What?"

Startled by the voice, and slightly embarrassed for being caught staring, Radek muttered an apology and went back to work. Two more hours passed. While his assigned task was going quicker than expected, his personal mission looked ready to fail. Maybe he could give it one more attempt …

"So, this Christmas-"

"You want me to tell you what to get McKay."

"Could you?" Radek asked, looking up from his work.

The expression on the man's face did nothing to help the spark of hope he felt. No one knew Rodney better than his team. If they couldn't help him -

"I'm not the best person to ask."

And with that, the spark died.

"Oh," Radek muttered, going back to work. "Thanks anyway."

"I mean, I'm not sure how much I can help," Ronon continued., "I get people what they need, not what they want."

"What do you mean?" the scientist wondered aloud, pausing with his hand on his keyboard.

"Last year I gave McKay a knife, Teyla a rope, and Sheppard a first aid-kit."

"Oh … did they like them?"

"Maybe," Ronon said with a shrug. "They helped them stay alive."

And that was the point, wasn't it? Ronon's gift ideas may not be standard, but they conveyed everything a Christmas present should. They were well thought out, tailored to the individual, and reflected their relationship. But how could Radek use this to find a gift for Rodney?

"Ronon?" Teyla called, stepping into view. "Colonel Sheppard would like us to rotate positions."

The big man nodded and walked out. Teyla gave Radek a smile, asked him how his work was doing along and settled in the spot her teammate had just left. Still mulling over what he heard from Ronon, it was over an hour before the scientist brought up the subject of Christmas. He was curious as to how Teyla selected her gifts.

"I think about the individual," she explained, "what they like and what they need."

"What about someone like Rodney?"

"Did you get his name for your gift exchange this year?" Teyla asked with a knowing smile.

"The man is impossible to shop for," Radek complained in place of an answer.

"Difficult, maybe, but not impossible," the Athosian corrected. "Rodney seems hard to please, but there are many things he enjoys."

"What are you going to get him?"

"I have not given it much thought, but last year I gave him a scented candle."

There was no way Radek was giving Rodney McKay a scented candle.

"Did he like it?" he asked, his skepticism seeping into his voice.

"It had a ... special connection to something we shared," Teyla explained. "So yes, I believe he liked it."

That was all well and good for her, but what was Radek going to do? She suggested he consider their relationship: what makes it special, what connections do they share? That was less helpful than what Ronon said. He didn't have many great memories of working alongside Rodney - at least not many that didn't include the man shouting at someone. The only items they worked with were things that Rodney already had, so there wasn't much point in giving him another one. Radek was still thinking about it when another voice interrupted his work

"Teyla," Colonel Sheppard called from the doorway. "Go relieve Ronon, I'll keep Zelenka company for a while."

She nodded and gracefully slipped into the hallway. Her replacement positioned himself in the same spot - must be the best vantage point, and leaned against the wall. This had been the situation Radek had been hoping for. Surely if anyone knew what to get Rodney, it was Colonel Sheppard.

"Do you know what you're getting your team for Christmas?" Radek probed.

"Not a clue," the Colonel replied. "I'm more concerned with what to get Dorsey."

"Dorsey?"

"The science department is not the only one with a Secret Santa drawing," he muttered. "So who did you get?"

"Um," Radek started, failing to suppress his grimace. "Rodney."

"Well, that's better than Dorsey."

"For you, maybe," the scientist grumbled, returning his focus to his work. "Rodney has not been pleased with a single Secret Santa gift since … He's never liked a Secret Santa gift."

"Look on the bright side, you can't do as bad as last year."

Radek let out a humorless laugh at the memory. The entire lab had suffered the fallout of that particular gift, he could only imagine how much ranting AR-1 had to deal with. But really, Dr. Pinipski should have known better than to order Rodney a fruit basket - although reporting it to Dr. Weir as an assasination attempt might have been an overreaction.

"What did you get him last year," Radek questioned.

"A bobblehead," he replied. "It was an inside joke. I'll get him something better this year. "

Radek was hoping he could do the same thing - though he did feel better knowing that he couldn't possibly do worse than Pinipski. However, he would have to decide on a gift later. They were running out of time and still had a lot of work to do. Before he knew it, their time was up and Ronon was pulling his protesting colleague back to the gate as they fought against the wind all the way.

Safely back in their city, Radek flipped through a magazine hoping that something would jump out at him. The tech stuff was out, since Rodney already owned anything worth getting - and better quality than what was offered here. He didn't want to go with the standard socks, scarf, or sweater that made up half the department's secret santa gifts. Besides, someone had tried that the last year they were in Antartica with an overly decorated Christmas cat sweater. It was probably meant as a joke, but Rodney wasn't amused.

"Any luck?"

Radek looked up to see Colonel Sheppard leaning in the doorway of the small lab he used as a refuge. The scientist sighed and leaned back in his chair. It was hopeless and told the man as much.

"Don't give up," the Colonel encouraged, joining him at the table. "You still have two days to put an order together before the next call in."

"It might take that long to find something," Radek muttered. "Have you picked something out for Dorsey?"

"Yeah, I'm getting him a basketball. I heard his last one went flat. Hey, how about you try getting Rodney something he can use in his downtime?"

"You forget that Rodney doesn't do downtime. I think he even works in his sleep."

"That might be his reputation in the science department, but I'll let you in on a secret," the Colonel said, dropping his voice to a whisper. "Rodney is human. He takes breaks and likes to have fun."

Somehow, Radek had trouble picturing this. Of course, he could understand how the head of the science department would act one way in the lab and another with his friends. Maybe that really was the answer.

"What sorts of things does he like to do in his downtime?" Radek asked, picking up the catalogue.

"All sorts of things," Colonel sheppard shrugged. "We play chess, watch movies, debate Star Trek vs Star Wars, video games, ping-pong … he's kinda a big kid."

A big- That's it! Radek thanked him and hurried off to place his order. The packages came two days before the party and took up a good chunk of Radek's closet while he waited for the day to arrive. Finally the exchange began. Ducking out as soon as he opened the coffee mug Dr. Corrigan gave him, Radek slipped down the hall to the military Christmas party.

"I think you took a wrong turn, Doc," one of the Marines commented when he entered the room. "Science party is in the south tower."

"I'm aware, thank you," he murmured back, waving his hand toward the young man.

He spotted his quarry a moment later, leaning against the wall with a beer in his hand. Spotting Radek heading his way, the military leader frowned and met him halfway.

"Everything okay?" Colonel Sheppard asked.

"Yes, I just need your help with something."

Clearly relieved that he wasn't there for security reasons, Colonel Sheppard followed him back to the other party. There they found Rodney leaning against the wall with a beer - how can two men that are so different be so alike?! - and flagged him down.

"Don't you have your own party?" Rodney asked the Colonel.

"Don't look at me, Zelenka said he needed my help."

"With what?"

To answer Rodney's question, Radek pulled two large boxes from the closet and gave one to each of them.

"Merry Christmas."

"You got my name?" Rodney asked, eyeing the box in his hands.

"Obviously," Radek replied.

"So you got _him_ a gift?"

"I'm not complaining," Colonel Sheppard grinned, tearing through the paper. "All I got from my secret santa was socks."

Rodney rolled his eyes and followed his teammates lead. When the wrappings fell away their jaws dropped. Radek held his breath as they looked over their gifts, then at each others'. Would one of them say something already?

"This is awesome," Colonel Sheppard said with a grin. "Are batteries included?"

Radek handed over a few packs as the military man ripped open the box acting much like a six-year-old and - surprisingly - he wasn't the only one. Who knew that a couple of remote controlled race cars could turn two grown men into giddy children.

"The flames on mine are a warning that I'm about to smoke you," Colonel Sheppard goaded, loading batteries into his toy.

"Yours is also red, statistically more likely to get in an accident," Rodney shot back, closing up the battery compartment. "Yellow is the safest color."

Their banter continued as they headed out of the room, shouting a couple of last minute thank yous as they disappeared from sight. Radek smiled and headed to the buffet. Best to let the children play. He had a party to get back to.

"Merry Christmas, Zelenka," Dr. Simpson called, waving at his from across the room.

"Yes it is," he whispered to himself, raising a glass toward his colleague. "A very merry Christmas."

* * *

So, what do you think?

Comments and suggestions are always welcome. Thank you for reading.


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